There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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