In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize