i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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