Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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