I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize