He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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