I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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