i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize