There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i came on her dog
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
