Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
