you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize