I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
