are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
