So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
