she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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