She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
