So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
