guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
