i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
