Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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