That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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