I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
