He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
