Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
