I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
