This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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