Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My vagina is very pro this idea
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
