I bet he comes in French.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just pee around me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
