Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
