am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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