Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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