It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
