seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
