it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize