Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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