i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
