12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
