So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
