after a month anything with tits is on the radar
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
