Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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