He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
