i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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