I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Your dad touched me again.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
