Me. At least after what I've been through.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize