BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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