Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
