I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
