i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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