they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
