My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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