Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
