Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
whose parrot is this?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
