Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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