It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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