Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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