Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
