RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
