I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
