I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
