We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
