i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
