you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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