I'm gonna have a badass scar
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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