he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
